![]() ![]() They are highly aware of how others are responding to them at all times, and able to change their mood to suit the emotions of others around them. Rather than ignore or hide like the other heart types, they want to provoke a reaction and to bond and become close to you. 2s hate to feel separated from their loved ones and also hate conflict, and such appeals in their mind will gain the reassurance they need to know you are “okay” with them. ![]() If they sense you moving away from them, or your displeasure, they will move toward you through appeals to get your attention-being even more friendly and supportive than usual, and even using aggressive tactics to get your attention (calling you, texting you, e-mailing you, just to elicit some kind of response). The 2 will do whatever you need, but may neglect their own needs and fall into a fatalistic sense of being incapable of helping themselves out of an unpleasant situation. If their desire to help seems too invasive to others, they may distance themselves, causing the 2 to feel “used.” They spoil and look after other people, unasked and unsolicited. They are the quintessential 2 mother, who over-does for her family and then complains when the children or her husband take her for granted. It’s a barter system, in which the 2 expects to get validated, loved, and given something back, even if it is just appreciation. However, their helpfulness does not come without a price: an expectation of something in return. They may not even realize how much they look down on those they “serve.” Most 2s see being “good” as an emotional decision, rather than a moral choice, and believe they are likable, helpful, and good. Others are children and the 2 must care for them. ![]() Staying gives the 2 a sense of pride in their own “power.” They are “better than” those who so obviously need their guidance, intervention, and wisdom. This also cultivates a sense of pride in being “needed.” They feel like they should be the friend who sticks around, even if this person is toxic, because they need help. ![]() They think deferring their own needs and being ready to help others is the right, or good thing to do. They think good behavior will earn them these things, and assume that they need to provide emotional support for others, thus making themselves useful in order to get noticed and loved. They will often remind themselves not to display their own needs and care for others’ needs first.Ģs need to feel liked and validated. They will carefully prune anything (a viewpoint, a habit, an interest) that might make you disappointed in them to maintain your connection. They believe their self worth lies in how much value they provide to others, so they want to be seen as empathetic, emotional, and supportive. What is not first apparent to themselves, or anyone else, is that they are crafting themselves around a particular self-being what you need. They provide anyone in suffering, pain, or conflict the support that reassures them they are loved and accepted. They are accepting, generous, and appreciative of others, and want to help them believe in their own value. Thankfully, it all works out for Emma-her friend marries the boy she wanted in the first place, and she, Emma, gets the man of her dreams after all.Ģs have a tremendous capacity to care for the welfare of others and put their needs above their own interests. 2s can get overwhelmed by their desire to serve others, in feeling necessary to their lives, and not ask for what they want-which is love and admiration. This is a good portrait of a young Enneagram 2, who puts all of her time and effort into “helping” others to find their way in the world, without ever thinking to look to her own emotional needs. The prideful matchmaking heroine goes about setting people up, inserting herself into their lives, and attempting to fix their lives, only to discover by the end that she has denied her own feelings for the man she loves in the process. Jane Austen writes a charming, likable, but frustrating portrait of an Enneagram 2 in her book, Emma. “I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.” Emma Woodhouse, Emma ![]()
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